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Fear and Love

Ore por Refuah Sheimah: Stephen Waczkiewicz (Shimon ben Sarah), Yossefa (Josie) "bat Sharon", Rafael ben Gladis e Esther Bracha "bat Sarah".

Continue orando por: Teddy Welz, Miriam (Mariana) "bat Zulay", Adina (Heidi) "bat Sarah" e Yosefa (Josie) "bat Sharon".

 

Va'etchanan

Deuteronomy 3:23 - 7:11

Va'etchanan (וָאֶתְחַנַּן‎ — Hebrew for "and I pleaded," the first word in the parashah) is the 45th weekly Torah portion (פָּרָשָׁה‎, parashah) in the annual Jewish cycle of Torah reading and the second in the Book of Deuteronomy. 

Moshe pleads with G-d to enter the Holy Land, but is turned down. (Remember, G-d always answers your prayers -- sometimes with a "yes," sometimes with a "no" ... and sometimes with a "not yet".) Moshe commands the Children of Israel not to add or subtract from the words of the Torah and to keep all of the Commandments. He then reminds them that G-d has no shape or form and that we should not make or worship idols of any kind.

The cities of Bezer, Ramot and Golan are designated as Cities of Refuge east of the Jordan river. Accidental murderers can escape there to avoid revengeful relatives. They then await there until tried.

The Ten Commandments are repeated to the whole Jewish people. Moshe then expounds the Shema, affirming the unity of G-d, Whom all should love and transmit His commandments to the next generation. A man should wear Tefillin upon the arm and head. All Jews should put a Mezuzah (the scroll is the essential part) upon each doorpost of their home (except the bathroom).

Moshe then relays the Almighty's command not to intermarry "for they will lead your children away from Me" (Deut. 7:3-4).

"You shall love your G-d with all your heart" (Deut 6:5).

What lesson can we learn from this verse?

"Do His will out of love. One who serves out of love cannot be compared to one who serves out of fear. The one who serves his master out of fear, once (the master) overburdens him, will leave and go his own way" (Rashi).

These words are the single greatest method whereby parents can prevent their children from deviating. Children who obey their parents out of fear, whether it be fear of punishment or of incurring their disapproval, may well react as Rashi says. When they feel that the parental demands of them are excessive, they may rebel or go their own way. Not so if they obey their parents out of love.

Parents' love of their children is innate. Animals, too, care for and nurture their children. Children's love for parents must be earned. If parents act in a way that merits their children's admiration, they receive their love. Such children are likely to avoid doing anything that will distress their parents. Any parent who relies on authority to make his children do his wishes may find himself disillusioned and disappointed when the children do as Rashi says, "leave him and go his own way."

Parents must indeed discipline their children, but should do so in a manner that will not humiliate them and cause them shame. Discipline by intimidation evokes resentment, not love.

Don't raise your kids to have more than you had, raise them to be more than you were.

Shabbat Shalom!

Rabbi Tank

 

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Rabbi Tank is a professor at the American Jewish College, where he teaches classes on Talmud, Jewish History, and Contemporary Jewish Law. Rabbi Tank is dedicated to finding modern utility and meaning in ancient wisdom texts and is happy to provide spiritual, cultural, social and educational programming to communities around the world. 

Rabbi Tank was educated at Chabad Yeshivas in New York and Miami. He majored in Biblical Archeology from Bar Ilan University and from Harvard in Jewish Studies. He graduated in Business Administration and also graduated in International Economic Development from the University of Oxford. 

Rabbi Tank is actively involved in peace negotiations and relief operations and is a Member of the White House National Religious Leaders, an Executive Office of the President of the United States.

 

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Thu, July 10 2025 14 Tammuz 5785