Weekly Parsha

Sponsored by Norma Drapper in memory of her beloved husband John Drapper.

Deuteronomy 21:10 -- 25:19

Topics in this week's portion include: Women Captives, First-Born's Share, The Rebellious Son, Hanging and Burial, Returning Lost Articles, The Fallen Animal, Transvestitism, The Bird's Nest, Guard-Rails, Mixed Agriculture, Forbidden Combinations, Bound Tassels, Defamed Wife, Penalty for Adultery, Betrothed Maiden, Rape, Unmarried Girl, Mutilated Genitals, Mamzer, Ammonites & Moabites, Edomites & Egyptians, The Army Camp, Sheltering Slaves, Prostitution, Deducted Interest, Keeping Vows, Worker in a Vineyard, Field Worker, Divorce and Remarriage, New Bridegroom, Kidnapping, Leprosy, Security for Loans, Paying Wages on Time, Testimony of Close Relatives, Widows and Orphans, Forgotten Sheaves, Leftover Fruit, Flogging, The Childless Brother-in-Law, Weights and Measures, Remembering What Amalek Did to Us.

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Dvar Torah
based on Growth Through Torah by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

The Torah teaches an important lesson about choosing a spouse in this week's portion. Regarding a non-Jewish woman captured during war that a soldier wishes to marry, the Torah places all sorts of restrictions in the way of marriage over a period of thirty days -- so that his passion will cool. The Torah states regarding the soldier's ultimate decision:

"And it will be if you did not want her" (Deut. 21:14).

Why does the Torah speak in the past tense ("did not want her") when referring to the decision the soldier makes at the end of thirty days? The Torah "should" have spoken in the future tense -- "and ... if you will not want her."

The answer is that there is a difference between the term chaishek which means passion and lust, and the term chofaitz which means wanting because of a rational decision that something is good for you. The Torah is telling us that a person who wants to marry someone only because of infatuation and a passion that is based on good looks never really wanted the person from the very beginning (therefore the past tense is used). It was just desire, not an honest love for the other person.

Rabbi Noah Weinberg, of blessed memory, defines love as "the pleasure of seeing virtue. It is based on the reality of knowing the good qualities in another person. Infatuation, however, is blind. It is when your emotions prevent you from seeing the entire picture and you mistakenly believe that the object of your infatuation is totally perfect and without any faults." Love is not blind, it is wide-eyed; infatuation is blind. If you think the other person is perfect -- watch out!

QUOTE:

Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy...

Life is fragile - Handle with prayer